- Empathy: see, feel and acknowledge others' point of view. THEY choose to be influenced.
- Stay True: be clear what your purpose and outcomes are.
"… this essential ability to exercise self control and delay gratification in the service of a longer term plan – this capacity can be developed, learned, increased or grown through practice and training. We know now what Dr. Mischel and colleagues did not in the 60’s – that the brain the constantly reshaped by experience. It is plastic, moldable, shapeable. This experience-dependent change takes place in neural pathways and in the broad connectivity of these pathways in neural networks. It occurs on many levels, from cellular changes in learning to larger scale changes in neural activation and coordination due to highly repetitive (expert) experience. Up until recently, there was a very wide consensus that brain structure is relatively fixed after a critical period during early childhood. This belief has been challenged by a long and consistent stream of findings from neuroscience showing that many aspects of the brain remain plastic even into adulthood." Source
Small, intentional distractions can help you manage the temptation to do the wrong thing. Influence is the same way - small practices can grow solid relationships. You don't have to be born with influence.
Commit to meeting someone different for lunch one day a week. Practice mingling. When you see a small article or post that someone else might find interesting, share it with them or share it on LinkedIn. You have the ability to learn to influence.