Using Emotional Intelligence as the lens, people who are loud, angry and rude are missing key perspectives:
- Awareness that they are behaving in a nonproductive way.
- Regulation of their strong judgements and emotions.
Peers and leaders own their response to this situation. Calmly stating, “I am not comfortable with the tone of this conversation. Can we reschedule for another time when there is less going on?” is more effective than “You are a bully and shouldn’t behave like this.” Practice emotionally neural phrases to use, starting with “I” and avoiding the word “You” to stop the escalation.