If you’re goal for 2019 is to get back to career and succession planning for your team and yourself, you’ll love the Talent GPS book.  It walks you through a simple process with useful templates that provide everything you need to mentor each staff member’s ability to grow their own career goals. Delegate career planning to each of your team members to grow the strength of the team as a whole. 

Normally $14, Talent GPS will be on sale until 12/31/18 for $10 shipping included for the first twenty purchases.  Click here to purchase and you will only be charged $10.  

 1.  Honesty: speak your truth without games.
 2.  If you are stressed or frustrated, delay your communication until you are balanced.
 3.  Practice and grow emotional intelligence by noticing your own negative feelings and choosing how              you are going to react before your auto-response occurs. Contact info@russellmartin.com for                more information on our Emotional Intelligence classes and coaching.
 4.  Whoever you are speaking with needs your full attention.  Don’t multi-task while listening whether            live or online.  Ask people who are talking to you for the same. Count to 3 after they’ve finished                  talking to respond.
 5. Ask more questions than you make statements.  Use Open Questions more frequently (“could you             explain that to me once more please?”) and occasional Closer Questions “Do you want me to take               notes?”).  Feedback builds trust.
 6.  Be honest with (mostly) yourself and others about how much you can do. Consider asking for time             to think about it – ‘Can I tell you tomorrow?’ so you can be honest with yourself.
 7.  Don’t use the word ‘but’ ever.  It means whatever you just said isn’t true.  For example, “I’d like to                 help you but I’m in the middle of a giant project.”
 8.  Listen with ears and eyes – notice the sounds, words, behaviors and the body language.
 9.  Enthusiasm – be positive, enthusiastic, make eye contact, and modify body language to show                       attention and interest. If you’re bored or distracted, they’ll know you’re insincere. 
 10. Watch the little words: for cooperation and solidarity use we, us; for power use  I, me.  The situation          will dictate the best approach.  Use power wisely and infrequently.
 11. Keep a Sense of Humor – everyone likes to smile because it relieves stress and releases endorphins.           Some like to make fun of themselves, some tell fun stories.  Don’t make fun of someone else. Watch          how others do this.  If it’s intimidating, just smile a little: it puts people at ease.
 12. Never Stop Learning because it gives you new things to talk about. 

Growing your Communication Muscle is a leadership activity.  It provides you with more tools to work with people in your organization – above, parallel and below.  As a leader, look honestly at your ability to share your messages through face to face, online and email transactions. 

As a leader, your role is to drive impact through others.  Too much or too little communication is costly, generating rework, lost work, and lost customers. Simply introducing yourselves is helpful to create trust.  Creating goals, roles, processes and outcomes prior to the communication discourages impulsiveness and creates a common language that drives teamwork. Having frequent, intentional meetings before they are needed is challenging and outcome generating.  

If you meet online, it’s important for everyone to introduce themselves.  This can be done in a chat window as people arrive. 
 
Suppose there is someone in your regular meetings who always speaks over others, or another who never speaks at all.  Figure out ways to make space for others if one person over participates.  For face to face ‘live’ discussions, facilitate the meeting by starting with introductions and asking specific people for their thoughts in a balanced way.  Start with a question that gives them a safe out if needed – “Jim, do you have additional thoughts on this?”  Don’t use the phrase “We haven’t heard from you yet…” which sounds blaming.  If people don’t want to contribute, they don’t have to.  As leader, informally talk with them after the meeting for their thoughts.  It’s important to notice and accept different communication styles and participation.

Here are some guidelines for when it’s okay to interrupt:

·        To ask the person to slow down the pace for you
·        To request a pause for everybody to get their bearings
·        To ask the person speaking to clarify a point or repeat what you think you’ve heard and get                            clarification 

There are three different ways we communicate with others:
 

1. Verbal communication consists of delivering your message through speaking directly to a person. Phone, face to face live or online meetings and real-time presentations fall into this category.
2. Non-verbal communication includes the use of body language and facial expressions. Check out this classic Ali Cuddy TedTalk here.
3. Written communication is writing to another, with email, texting, etc. being examples.

 
For communication success, the type of communication must match the content of the communication. 
 
Which communication would you use in each of these scenarios?
 
One of your staff has made a significant mistake on a project.  They are out of the office on business for a week. The team has fixed it. Which communication would be best for your conversation with the staff member?
 
You are working with someone who is difficult and causing your work to be difficult.  Which communication would be best for your conversation with the staff member?
 
You have an important announcement to make to your distributed team.  You’ll be using a live webinar. Which communication would be best for your conversation with the staff member?
 
You’ve asked a couple of times for a response, and you haven’t received it.  You want to let your boss know that you have asked but nothing has happened, so she’s doesn’t think it’s your issue.  Which communication would be best for your conversation with the staff member?
 
Your workload is crazy out of control.  Someone has asked for your help on a project, and you always say yes.  This time you cannot say yes.  Which communication would be best for your conversation with the staff member?
 
You’ve got a lot on your plate, and it’s easier to just do the work yourself because you have no time to explain it and delegate it. What is your belief set that creates this decision?  What is the cost?
 
There are no perfect answers and it’s best to notice all three. Here are guidelines:
 

• If you have an issue with a person, speak to them as quickly as you can use Verbal Communication, preferably face to face.  If you must talk on the phone or online, note that the pace must slow down to avoid talking over or interruption, which breaks trust.  Before you talk, carefully consider your perceptions about the situation and speak about the facts, not your interpretations.  Ask questions instead of statements to begin to clarify a joint understanding to eventually come to a shared conclusion.
• Use Written Communication when you have something to tell others that can be clearly stated and not controversial.  Notice when you are overusing written communication, especially to avoid conversations with others. Use TO: for the people who need to do something, CC: for people who need to know, and BC: for people who need to know and want to be private (like your boss).
• If you have an issue with a person, do not tell other people and do not CC: your boss which feels like you’re getting the person in trouble. Speak with the person before you speak to anyone else.  Escalate as a last resort.
• In face to face (together or online) communication, set ground rules before you start.  What is the purpose of this meeting? Who is involved? How much time do you have? What are the next steps? It’s helpful to pay attention to the Non-Verbal Communication, especially body language and expressions.  They are looking at your body language as well.   Crossing your arms and leaning back often signals a disconnect.  Use questions to different people to grow collaboration.  

Here’s a little quiz.  Which of these are FALSE?
 

1. Communication means give and take.
2. Following up to close the loop is optional and usually obvious.
3. Bad news early is good news.
4. Communication means being outgoing and taking the lead.
5. Communication can’t exist without both party’s trust.

 
Let’s start with the basics.  People have different behaviors and styles when they communicate.  This diversity can drive great solutions or great angst. Trust happens when people adapt to others temporarily to create connection.
 
Question D: There is a common misconception that you must be outgoing and extroverted to be a good communicator.  It is important to be authentic or you cannot build trust.  Others can tell when you are faking it, just like you can if people act fake with you.  Quieter people are often more succinct in their communication and prefer a slower pace in discussions.  If you are more of a talker / interrupter like I am, manage yourself.  A technique from Accelerated Learning is helpful:
When an idea is in your mind, quickly jot it down. Consider WHY you want to say this.  Will it add to the conversation or derail the conversation? Are you talking to be heard or to add value?
 
Another issue is lack of closure. I finish sending an email and move on.  But my quick emails can get wordy and rambling and confuse whoever I’m passing information to.  It’s also easy to forget to follow-up.  Here’s an example: I email someone to do something by a certain date.  The person does it but does not tell me they have completed my request.  I feel obligated to send multiple emails asking if the work is complete. 
 
Don’t write like you speak.  Read every email over when you think you’re done to make sure your message is clear. And remember to close the loop.

The Best Gift Ever: Communicate
​
“…Make sure that you are maintaining the same standards of behavior that you expect from others.”- Pallavi Mehta on Linked In
 
As 2018 flies to a close, there’s still time to make the most of a beautiful and chaotic time of the year.  Please register (free!)  to attend our Training Magazine Network (TMN) Holiday Webinar Party!  Join my friends - all are invited, there are PLENTY of seats.   
 
When we’re busy juggling shopping, holiday events and end-of-year work, it’s easy to pull away from others to focus on COT (check off tasks).  You send more emails with less clarity.  Avoidance of communication creates a communication nightmare. Let’s look at surprising practices for learning to communicate more effectively even when you’re busy. 
 
In this newsletter, you’ll think about:
 

• What are People Skills and how do mine match up?
• How does Communication Transmission impact connection?
• What can you do to grow you Communication Muscle?
• Fast Tips to Communicate
• Book of the Month: Talent GPS