2. If you are stressed or frustrated, delay your communication until you are balanced.
3. Practice and grow emotional intelligence by noticing your own negative feelings and choosing how you are going to react before your auto-response occurs. Contact firstname.lastname@example.org for more information on our Emotional Intelligence classes and coaching.
4. Whoever you are speaking with needs your full attention. Don’t multi-task while listening whether live or online. Ask people who are talking to you for the same. Count to 3 after they’ve finished talking to respond.
5. Ask more questions than you make statements. Use Open Questions more frequently (“could you explain that to me once more please?”) and occasional Closer Questions “Do you want me to take notes?”). Feedback builds trust.
6. Be honest with (mostly) yourself and others about how much you can do. Consider asking for time to think about it – ‘Can I tell you tomorrow?’ so you can be honest with yourself.
7. Don’t use the word ‘but’ ever. It means whatever you just said isn’t true. For example, “I’d like to help you but I’m in the middle of a giant project.”
8. Listen with ears and eyes – notice the sounds, words, behaviors and the body language.
9. Enthusiasm – be positive, enthusiastic, make eye contact, and modify body language to show attention and interest. If you’re bored or distracted, they’ll know you’re insincere.
10. Watch the little words: for cooperation and solidarity use we, us; for power use I, me. The situation will dictate the best approach. Use power wisely and infrequently.
11. Keep a Sense of Humor – everyone likes to smile because it relieves stress and releases endorphins. Some like to make fun of themselves, some tell fun stories. Don’t make fun of someone else. Watch how others do this. If it’s intimidating, just smile a little: it puts people at ease.
12. Never Stop Learning because it gives you new things to talk about.